Saturday, November 8

I remember when...

I remember when I was a lot younger (maybe 9 or 10) a man that seemed to have it all together, at my old church, confessed something in front of everyone. What he confessed absolutely shocked me, and I felt embarrassed for him. He confessed that he had been just following routine, and hadn't really known Jesus.

I just remembered this last night, while listening to a few different Gentleman at the church I go to now, talk about their struggle to understand love, to have trust, and to leave behind their past. It was so beautiful to see their transparency, their confessions, their vulnerability, and their need to be loved.

When I thought about it, the difference in these two stories had to be because of one of two things. It was either my maturity or it was the group of believers. It's also possible it was a combination of the two.

However, I think of the pastor's youngest son, who is only 9 years old. Last night, he didn't feel shocked or embarrassed for these men that shared their lives. Why was it that I felt this way when I was young.

I think the answer is that when I was young, the body of believers I was around was very traditional. So traditional in fact that pain and sorrow was only shared if it was a medical problem. When this man shared that he had been living a lie, that he was a Christian poser, and that he had recognized the real Jesus, the people around me were shocked and embarrassed because to them, and me at the time, he must have been the only person in the whole church that wasn't living a good solid, read your bible every night, go to church on Sunday, shake 30 people's hands and tell them how great you're doing, Christian life.

I'm really glad I'm where I am now. I'm glad that the body of believers I'm in community with doesn't assume everyone's living the "ideal" Christian life, because nobody is. We all have our addictions of some sort, and it's all sin. We are sinners, we don't have to pretend we're not. We are supposed to join along side of one another and comfort one another and learn from one another. As a great man recently said, "It's not perfect, but it's good."

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